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PERSUASION Secrets!!!

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I’ve compiled my very own ’secrets’ of persuasion.  The ability to win someone over to your way of thinking - for the better.  These methods do not EVER fail so read them, study them, and give them a try.  I guarantee that they work wonderfully!  This is the Psychology of power and influence over others and it works in every aspect of life; from business, to friends and family, etc…

Master the Foundations For Persuasion 

Assertiveness Aids Persuasion

We own ourselves - body and soul.  This ownership grants us specific rights — they endow us with dignity.  Dignity demands an obligation to safeguard our rights.  No one can impinge upon them.  Others possess these very same rights.  We cannot encroach upon these rights. While we expect others to respect our rights, we must also respect others. This principle enshrines the core of assertive behavior.  Assertive behavior sows confidence.  Confidence prevents us from yielding weakly in the face of pressure and it puts our needs forward.  Anytime, anywhere.  We feel good about ourselves because we send a clear message as to how people should treat us.  Assertive behavior requires that we act politely, reasonable and objective.  Assertive behavior requires that we let others know exactly what we want and feel.   As a natural consequence, persuasion cannot occur in the absence of assertive behavior.  To convince others, we must be naturally assertive.  A weakling cannot sway the mind of an opponent.  Victorious persuasion can be easy.  First, know your rights.  Be aware of where you stand.  Then deploy the tools of scientific persuasion.  Be forcefully assertive. The first shot fired in the war of wills comes only after invoking the proper mental disposition - through assertiveness. Assertiveness is the first golden key to successful persuasion. To persuade someone, you must use body language that conveys not just openness, but authority as well. Great care must be taken to avoid body language that betrays anxiety, suspicion, resistance or untrustworthiness. By allowing your prospect to perceive you as likeable and competent, on a subtle level, you gain compliance with your persuasion. 

How can you be assertive? 

Being assertive is not being passive or being aggressive. It is the balance. It is honoring yourself enough to defend your rights. Timidity is a widespread malady; as a result, many to fail to speak-up when the situation calls for it. Thus, the more dominant individuals steam roller over those with mild-mannered personalities. Everyone has rights that must be held inviolable. As human beings we are all called upon to defend these civil liberties. What rights are these? Etch the following to memory and you will live a life in full command of yourselves. 

The Bill of Inalienable Rights I ALWAYS have the right to:

• State what I want regardless of whether I can get it. 
• Express my opinion and feelings. 
• Make my own decisions and change it if I wish. 
• Decline from explaining my actions or refuse to give an excusefor it. 
• Turn down a request with out guilt. 
• I can say NO. 
• Accede to a request but put boundaries upon compliance. 
• Not be discriminated against. 

How does one act assertively?

When defending your bill of rights remember to take four steps: Be Direct.  Don’t beat around the bush.  State your mind(thoughts, ideas, needs) without excuses.  Take full responsibility.  Specially when giving opinions, make it clear that it is not a universal truth but your opinion.  This step allows people to be more receptive to you.  It also enables them to see you as unwavering.  Preface your statements with “My feeling is that”, “I think…”, “In my opinion…”"My understanding….”.  Be calm and in control. Let your words, tone, and body language.  Show restraint.  Do not let others influence your response.  Be objective and polite.   Make no personal or character attacks. Now…

Powerful Benefits You Gain From Body Language Mastery  

1.        You quickly identify the hidden emotions of others.  

2.        Negotiations become easier when you instantaneously identify areas of discussion that causes discomfort.

3.        Normally, emotions are kept in check.

4.        Disagreement, for instance, can be manifested externally by continuous rejection of an idea. Body language pinpoints right away the topic provoking uneasiness and causing the rejection of valid ideas. Once identified, the area of concern can be subjected to compromise.

5.        You armor yourself with a perfectly tailored image. By knowing which body language adds or detracts from your desired image, you create the perfect “you” in the eyes of others. 

6.        You can create an environment of instant rapport between yourself and your prospects by adopting bodily postures that subtly conveys openness, trustworthiness, confidence and credibility. Grasping the fundamentals and the benefits now empowers you to start using the potent force of body language.

Detecting Resistance to Your Idea

Resistance can be easily detected in your prospect.  Check if your companion’s body, leans away from you.  Observe whether he faces you obliquely.  His arms, legs or both are crossed.  He may glance from the corner of the eye; furthermore, eye contact is minimal.  He taps his finger or foot; his feet points away from you. He may refuse to unbutton his jacket.  Generally, the posture is closed and leans away from you.  When you persuade, avoid adopting this body language.  When your prospect adopts this pose, modify your tact to bring ease.  Whatever you are saying may be causing discomfort.

Body Language Depicting Openness to Your Idea

An accommodating prospect adopts an open posture to signifyacceptance. He indulges in considerable eye contact. He frequently strokes his chin. His hands may be steepled.  Notice that his feet point towards you.   This body language cluster promotes an ambiance of openness between both parties.  This is an ideal posture to adopt for persuasion. It makes prospects more receptive.  This is also the posture to elicit from your Instant Impact prospect.  Once both of you adopt this posture, agreement is inevitable. 

Depicting Readiness to Agree /Cooperation

Cooperation is signified by a prospect when eye contact occurs 70% of the time. Smiling is frequent.  A cooperative prospect leans and tilts his head towards you.  He faces you directly; he nods frequently.  His hands may be flat upon the table.  His palms may be open and visible while his arms and legs are uncrossed.  His feet face towards you.  He may also sit at the edge of the chair.  A cooperative prospect exhibits body posture that is generally open and he leans towards your direction.  As with the “Evaluating Your Idea” pose, this body language cluster boosts your chances of successful persuasion. Apply it when listening and speaking. 

Detecting Suspicion

Suspicion is conveyed by a closed posture.  The prospect may keep his hands in his pockets and orient his body and feet oblique to yours.  He may look at you from the corner of his eye and cross his arms.  Those who adopt this posture cease listening and tend to be disagreeable.  It is hard to convince those who adopt this pose.  When influencing, avoid taking this pose.  Prospects will reject you if you do.  It is hard to believe in someone who manifests suspicion.

Detecting Lying

Recognizing liars takes little effort. When someone lies, he minimizes eye contact.  He is usually downcast.  A lying person glances from the corner of the eye.  You can also spot dubious statements by watching hand movements.  Notice when someone’s hand covers the mouth, rubs the nose or tugs the ear – it betrays something fishy.  A liar experiences obvious discomfort; he may shift in his seat or shuffle his feet.  His feet may point towards a door signifying a desire to escape interrogation. Never take this posture when persuading.  No one likes liars. No one follows the suggestions of liars.   Instant Impact Displaying Authority and Power Leaders generally adopt a distinctive pose.  Eye contact is steady and frequent; it never drops below the bridge of the nose.  His shoulders are thrown back slightly, with the chinup. His posture is erect, yet comfortable.  Movements are slow and deliberate.  The tone of voice flows deep and resonant; speech does not exceed 100 words per minute.  Each sentence ends with a downward inflection; pauses punctuate phrases and sentences.  Every statement sounds like a statement and not a question (upward inflection).  Even questions sound like statements.  Normally, the leader takes the head of the table.  When he sits, he may steeple.  When standing, his arms may be held behind his back.  He may also rest them on his hips.  Gestures are emphatic and carried out in sweeping or thrusting motions.   His overall aura emanates sizzling power. 

>>IMPORTANT!<<

Handling Criticism   

The Clouding Technique 

We all hate criticism.   It stings, it scathes.   It hurts.  It comes our way at least once a day. We can deal with it emotionally, escalate it and risk fraying a relationship.  The alternative is to handle it assertively.  The Clouding Criticism Technique defangs fighting words. To “cloud” the criticism is to diffuse it’s potential for all out verbal war. The criticism is taken, absorbed, and rendered impotent.  Rolling with the punches in this manner yields more results than countering with outright denial. 

To cloud the criticism takes six steps: 

From the very beginning, focus on the content of the criticism not the behavior of the critic. Listen emotionlessly.   Yielding to emotion leaves you vulnerable to further criticism.   Anger and fury attract further criticism as blood lures sharks.  Calmly let the opponent talk till satisfied.   Allow him to vent his ire into the stream of criticism. Do not interrupt.   Be stone-cold silent. This allows him to assuage his fury and gives you the time to assemble a well crafted rebuttal, if need be. Allowing the opponent to lash out unhindered drains him emotionally, leaving him open to a well planned counterattack.  Eliminate all embers.   To further decreases his emotional turmoil and kill the fire, ask if there is anything else they might want to add.  Acknowledge having heard it. State “I understand that you are concerned about…” This negates the danger of letting the criticism looming indefinitely in everyone’s mind.  Cloud the Statements. Take the criticism and AGREE with it partially or in principle.  This is a very effective method to derail any follow up attacks meant to reinforce angry words.   By rolling with the punches instead of countering, you foster a friendlier environment. Agree with some truth in the criticism.  

Here’s the technique: 

Clouding the Criticism by Agreeing Partially entails taking his criticism and agreeing with some parts of it.  This is effective when being criticized with words that involve sweeping adjectives like “always, never, and forever.  Through partial agreement, the attacker’s fury diminishes and this leads to more open discussion.  For example: Criticism: You’re always out of town.  You never see your friends anymore. Reply: I agree.   I have little time for my friends these days.  (agreeing partially) Clouding the Criticism by Agreeing in Principle, entails fully agreeing with the principle of the criticism but not with the accusation leveraged against you. You admit that the principle is valid, but you nimbly sidestep blame.  Agreeing in Principle lessens conflict because the critic gets confused with the quick acceptance of his point. He is thrown off balance and is unsure how to continue.  Before he can think of a reply, you can work to defuse further conflict.  Criticism: You’re always out of town. You never see your  friends anymore.  Reply: I agree.  Distance takes away much time for friends.  (you agree that out of town trips minimizes time with friends; however you don’t accept fault.) Finally, after clouding the criticism, ask what would make things better. Tell him “What would make this situation better for both of us?” Listen to the reply and give your own input.  The last step snuffs all residual negativity and focuses the  situation of problem solving. If outright lies pepper the criticism use a secret technique. The technique of Presuming Innocence parries the criticism while allowing the critic to save face. The Technique: Rapport cannot be built by pointing out errors in the logic of the criticism leveraged against you.  Allow your prospects to save face by asking questions until you lose imagination or control.  Presuming Innocence calls for incessant interrogation of the opponent on the reason, motive, factual basis, etc. for his accusation. Say, for instance, “How does that relate to the . . .” (then state the apparently conflicting information). Sometimes, you might find you were wrong, and you “save face.”  Or, by continued non threatening questions, you can gently corner the other person into selfcorrecting.

Well, I hope you found these techniques useful.  There’s even more to come!  Stay put!  

Love, 

-Diana Chance  aka: Hot Mami

Watch My LIVE VIDEO CHAT for Music, Dance, Chat…FREE on social networking site Stickam!!!

 

10 Ways To Be HAPPY!

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Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is very possible and it’s also wonderful! Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

In our life we have the power to make necessary changes if we want to to be happy. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation, we can always find solace in the knowledge that life is constantly changing - for the better. It’s what we call evolution.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation.

Happiness is actually found in everyone, finding it within is up to you!

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Most people can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

10 Ways To Be Happy!:
 
1. Being grateful is a great attitude.  We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

2. News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can’t start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

3. A spiritual connection.. Being part of a spiritual group with its singing, peaceful environments, chanting, and meditations foster inner peace. For those who are religious, get involved with your church.

4. Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed  as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

5. Laugh heartily everyday.  Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -’Laughter is the best medicine’.
 
6. Express Yourself. Your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.
 
7. Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.
 
8. Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday.  Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

9. Run, jog, walk. Also, do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.
 
10. Avoid exposure to negative elements. For example: loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy. They sure work for me!

Love,

-Diana Chance aka: Hot Mami

 Watch My LIVE VIDEO CHAT for Music, Dance, Chat…FREE on social networking site Stickam!!!

What’s Next?

Hello and welcome back! I hope you’re ready for me because I am ready for you! There are a lot of new and exciting projects I’ve put together for you to enjoy!

I have been trying very hard to get my life back together so I can update my blog on a consistent basis. I have been doing pretty good so I’m here to let you know you’ll be seeing a lot of me from now on!

Even though I have not posted many articles, I have in fact written quite a few during this ‘down time’. I will start sharing my thoughts and ideas with you and I’m hoping to hear from you too!

BTW, don’t forget to sign-up at: Diana Chance Online! Be the first to find out as soon as the brand new website launches!

So, don’t go anywhere! I’ve got news, thrills, insight, and lots of fun right up my sleeve…

Your Sexy Girl:

-Diana Chance

Hypnotize Your Visitors!

Invaluable information! -When marketing your blog/website, remember the following acronym: AIDAS - Attract, Interest, Desire, Action, and Satisfaction.

If you follow these tips, not only will you be able to entice surfers to your site but keep them coming back for more.

ONLY AESTHETICS MAY NOT TIC

Most of us think about web site design in terms of our aesthetic preferences, but good web site design incorporates some fundamental elements that will make your web site work for your business and your customers.

ITS-ALL-ABOUT-READABILITY – Its all about readability

Make “readability” a fundamental part of your web site design If you want a professional-looking web site design that encourages visitors to read about your business, products or services, the first thing to do is to make sure visitors can, in fact, “read”. Stay away from all capitals in your writing and use common fonts that are easy to read.

LET THE LOGIC PREVAIL

Organize content into logical sections. Make it a snap for visitors to find information.

BROWSING NOT READING

Incorporate headlines into your web site design. Web users will browse more often than read. Use headlines and subheadings to give customers a quick idea of what your page has to offer. Someone in a hurry should be able to read your headlines and subheadings to quickly understand what products, services, and benefits they will get. Put your most important phrases in bold letters, too.

BULLETS WILL HIT THE RIGHT PLACE

Include bold words, bullet points, section titles and short paragraphs. The visual experience on a web site is quite different than on a printed page.

NO BACKGROUND NOISE

Never (really, we mean never) use patterned or distracting background images as part of your web site design. Your content will be “lost” in the noise.

EASY ON THE EYES

Eliminate bright background colors with bright text. Make reading easy on the eyes. Basic colors and a white background do best with the many different ways your page will look on different monitors.

STRUCTURED APPROACH

Make “Structure” an integral part of Good web site design It’s a good idea to map out the pages of your site; in effect, design the sitemap first. Find the most logical, most direct way to link your pages to one another. Think like your customers - if you were visiting your site, how would you want to find information? Better yet, get your customers to tell you!

PLAN BEFORE PLUNGE

Good web site design practices start with good planning. Don’t develop a single graphic until you’ve set up a skeleton site and done some real-world testing to see if the structure makes sense. Sit your employees or customers down and see if they can navigate your site easily and locate information quickly.

BE CONSISTENT

A good web site design will always (yes, we mean always) use navigation consistently. That means that your common navigational elements will be in the same place, and will have the same look on every single page of your site.

STANDARD PRACTICE

Sometimes, good web site design is simply following standard practices. Keep your logo in the upper left hand corner of the page and use it to link from your interior pages back to your home page. And use common names for things - “home” for home and “about us” for a page about you. If you have a search field, put it prominently near the top of your page. Most people have grown accustomed to these basic web site design principles.

WHEN “MORE” IS NOT ALWAYS “BETTER”

It’s a safe bet to say that all businesses want an effective web site. But what’s “effective” and what’s “excessive”? When it comes to good web site design, more is not always
better. Yes, your site can flash, blink and sing, but there are reasons not to add that extra feature. By “extra features” we mean things that do not improve your sales, make your business more efficient or advance your goals, but are simply surface enhancements. Music, a twinkling star, graphics that fade in and out.

HAZARDS OF SHOWING OFF TOO MUCH

All of these things may impress you but they may not impress your visitors. Extra features can : o Slow your site down so that people with slow Internet connections might never get through your opening animation. o Stop or inhibit search engines from listing your site. o Annoy visitors so that they leave your site before learning anything, signing up for your newsletter, or making a purchase o Flashing-blinking-singing things can be distracting, repetitious or detract from the real purpose of your site. That isn’t to say that these elements should never be used. Each has its place and can be an integral part of good web site design. But any enhancement should advance your goals, and your animations and music should come equipped with an “off” button.

USE THE RIGHT TECHNIQUE

On the technical side of web site design So far, everything we’ve mentioned has some visible effect on your web site. But there are other “behind the scenes” design elements that can help to make your web site the best it can be. A good web site design professional will take care to be sure that:

GRAPHICS ARE OPTIMIZED FOR DOWNLOAD.

Visitors should be able to get to your web pages quickly, even on slower Internet connections.

COLORS ARE “WEB SAFE”.

Some browsers display a limited color palette. Visitors should be able to view your site in all its glory, whatever their browser.

VISITORS USING LOW RESOLUTION MONITORS CAN SEE YOUR PRIMARY CONTENT WITHOUT SCROLLING.

It’s usually best to design for the “least common denominator” so that your most important content is immediately visible on all types of monitors.

MULTIPLE BROWSERS, ON MULTIPLE OPERATING SYSTEMS.

Customers come in a variety of shapes and sizes and so do their web tools. People using a Mac, or IE 5.0 should be able to see your site as well as someone using a PC, or Firefox 1.0.

PROOF OF THE PUDDING

Include testimonials from your customers and suppliers. Nothing builds trust with customers and prospects like good words about you from people who know you and have done business with you.

OPTIMIZE FOR SEARCH ENGINE

Search engines are the number one way of getting visitors to your site. You will want pages that are easily registered by the top search engines like Excite and Yahoo. Search engines are a lot smarter than they used to be. Most first look at the title of your page (those words that appear in the little box on your browser), then at the page’s Meta Tags, and finally at the copy on your page. If the same keywords appear in all three places, your site gets a high listing. This means that a customer who searches for you using one of your site’s keywords will find you linked in the first 10 to 15 sites the search engine presents. To see what Meta tags look like, go to any popular site, point your cursor at the page, and click the right mouse button. Choose “view source.” The Meta tag looks like this: <meta name=”description” content=”a few words that best describe your site, separated, by, commas”> <meta name=”keywords” content=”the same keywords listed like this:internet marketing, small business, web site promotion, selling, ezines, home based business, marketing, advertising, email marketing,”>

UPDATE OFTEN

Make sure you update your important info often. Search engines, just like customers, check back often to see how your site is progressing. Lots of helpful articles, tips, and a question and answer page will give customers all the information they need. Also include links to other recommended sites like yours. Try to get those sites to add your link as well. Customers will see you as an authority in your field and will appreciate your ability to help them in a variety of ways.

“Hypnotize Your Visitors II” coming soon!

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Love,

-Diana Chance