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I’ve compiled my very own ’secrets’ of persuasion. The ability to win someone over to your way of thinking - for the better. These methods do not EVER fail so read them, study them, and give them a try. I guarantee that they work wonderfully! This is the Psychology of power and influence over others and it works in every aspect of life; from business, to friends and family, etc…
Master the Foundations For Persuasion
Assertiveness Aids Persuasion
We own ourselves - body and soul. This ownership grants us specific rights — they endow us with dignity. Dignity demands an obligation to safeguard our rights. No one can impinge upon them. Others possess these very same rights. We cannot encroach upon these rights. While we expect others to respect our rights, we must also respect others. This principle enshrines the core of assertive behavior. Assertive behavior sows confidence. Confidence prevents us from yielding weakly in the face of pressure and it puts our needs forward. Anytime, anywhere. We feel good about ourselves because we send a clear message as to how people should treat us. Assertive behavior requires that we act politely, reasonable and objective. Assertive behavior requires that we let others know exactly what we want and feel. As a natural consequence, persuasion cannot occur in the absence of assertive behavior. To convince others, we must be naturally assertive. A weakling cannot sway the mind of an opponent. Victorious persuasion can be easy. First, know your rights. Be aware of where you stand. Then deploy the tools of scientific persuasion. Be forcefully assertive. The first shot fired in the war of wills comes only after invoking the proper mental disposition - through assertiveness. Assertiveness is the first golden key to successful persuasion. To persuade someone, you must use body language that conveys not just openness, but authority as well. Great care must be taken to avoid body language that betrays anxiety, suspicion, resistance or untrustworthiness. By allowing your prospect to perceive you as likeable and competent, on a subtle level, you gain compliance with your persuasion.
How can you be assertive?
Being assertive is not being passive or being aggressive. It is the balance. It is honoring yourself enough to defend your rights. Timidity is a widespread malady; as a result, many to fail to speak-up when the situation calls for it. Thus, the more dominant individuals steam roller over those with mild-mannered personalities. Everyone has rights that must be held inviolable. As human beings we are all called upon to defend these civil liberties. What rights are these? Etch the following to memory and you will live a life in full command of yourselves.
The Bill of Inalienable Rights I ALWAYS have the right to:
- State what I want regardless of whether I can get it.
- Express my opinion and feelings.
- Make my own decisions and change it if I wish.
- Decline from explaining my actions or refuse to give an excusefor it.
- Turn down a request with out guilt.
- I can say NO.
- Accede to a request but put boundaries upon compliance.
- Not be discriminated against.
How does one act assertively?
When defending your bill of rights remember to take four steps: Be Direct. Don’t beat around the bush. State your mind(thoughts, ideas, needs) without excuses. Take full responsibility. Specially when giving opinions, make it clear that it is not a universal truth but your opinion. This step allows people to be more receptive to you. It also enables them to see you as unwavering. Preface your statements with “My feeling is that”, “I think…”, “In my opinion…”"My understanding….”. Be calm and in control. Let your words, tone, and body language. Show restraint. Do not let others influence your response. Be objective and polite. Make no personal or character attacks. Now…
Powerful Benefits You Gain From Body Language Mastery
1. You quickly identify the hidden emotions of others.
2. Negotiations become easier when you instantaneously identify areas of discussion that causes discomfort.
3. Normally, emotions are kept in check.
4. Disagreement, for instance, can be manifested externally by continuous rejection of an idea. Body language pinpoints right away the topic provoking uneasiness and causing the rejection of valid ideas. Once identified, the area of concern can be subjected to compromise.
5. You armor yourself with a perfectly tailored image. By knowing which body language adds or detracts from your desired image, you create the perfect “you” in the eyes of others.
6. You can create an environment of instant rapport between yourself and your prospects by adopting bodily postures that subtly conveys openness, trustworthiness, confidence and credibility. Grasping the fundamentals and the benefits now empowers you to start using the potent force of body language.
Detecting Resistance to Your Idea
Resistance can be easily detected in your prospect. Check if your companion’s body, leans away from you. Observe whether he faces you obliquely. His arms, legs or both are crossed. He may glance from the corner of the eye; furthermore, eye contact is minimal. He taps his finger or foot; his feet points away from you. He may refuse to unbutton his jacket. Generally, the posture is closed and leans away from you. When you persuade, avoid adopting this body language. When your prospect adopts this pose, modify your tact to bring ease. Whatever you are saying may be causing discomfort.
Body Language Depicting Openness to Your Idea
An accommodating prospect adopts an open posture to signifyacceptance. He indulges in considerable eye contact. He frequently strokes his chin. His hands may be steepled. Notice that his feet point towards you. This body language cluster promotes an ambiance of openness between both parties. This is an ideal posture to adopt for persuasion. It makes prospects more receptive. This is also the posture to elicit from your Instant Impact prospect. Once both of you adopt this posture, agreement is inevitable.
Depicting Readiness to Agree /Cooperation
Cooperation is signified by a prospect when eye contact occurs 70% of the time. Smiling is frequent. A cooperative prospect leans and tilts his head towards you. He faces you directly; he nods frequently. His hands may be flat upon the table. His palms may be open and visible while his arms and legs are uncrossed. His feet face towards you. He may also sit at the edge of the chair. A cooperative prospect exhibits body posture that is generally open and he leans towards your direction. As with the “Evaluating Your Idea” pose, this body language cluster boosts your chances of successful persuasion. Apply it when listening and speaking.
Detecting Suspicion
Suspicion is conveyed by a closed posture. The prospect may keep his hands in his pockets and orient his body and feet oblique to yours. He may look at you from the corner of his eye and cross his arms. Those who adopt this posture cease listening and tend to be disagreeable. It is hard to convince those who adopt this pose. When influencing, avoid taking this pose. Prospects will reject you if you do. It is hard to believe in someone who manifests suspicion.
Detecting Lying
Recognizing liars takes little effort. When someone lies, he minimizes eye contact. He is usually downcast. A lying person glances from the corner of the eye. You can also spot dubious statements by watching hand movements. Notice when someone’s hand covers the mouth, rubs the nose or tugs the ear – it betrays something fishy. A liar experiences obvious discomfort; he may shift in his seat or shuffle his feet. His feet may point towards a door signifying a desire to escape interrogation. Never take this posture when persuading. No one likes liars. No one follows the suggestions of liars. Instant Impact Displaying Authority and Power Leaders generally adopt a distinctive pose. Eye contact is steady and frequent; it never drops below the bridge of the nose. His shoulders are thrown back slightly, with the chinup. His posture is erect, yet comfortable. Movements are slow and deliberate. The tone of voice flows deep and resonant; speech does not exceed 100 words per minute. Each sentence ends with a downward inflection; pauses punctuate phrases and sentences. Every statement sounds like a statement and not a question (upward inflection). Even questions sound like statements. Normally, the leader takes the head of the table. When he sits, he may steeple. When standing, his arms may be held behind his back. He may also rest them on his hips. Gestures are emphatic and carried out in sweeping or thrusting motions. His overall aura emanates sizzling power.
>>IMPORTANT!<<
Handling Criticism
The Clouding Technique
We all hate criticism. It stings, it scathes. It hurts. It comes our way at least once a day. We can deal with it emotionally, escalate it and risk fraying a relationship. The alternative is to handle it assertively. The Clouding Criticism Technique defangs fighting words. To “cloud” the criticism is to diffuse it’s potential for all out verbal war. The criticism is taken, absorbed, and rendered impotent. Rolling with the punches in this manner yields more results than countering with outright denial.
To cloud the criticism takes six steps:
From the very beginning, focus on the content of the criticism not the behavior of the critic. Listen emotionlessly. Yielding to emotion leaves you vulnerable to further criticism. Anger and fury attract further criticism as blood lures sharks. Calmly let the opponent talk till satisfied. Allow him to vent his ire into the stream of criticism. Do not interrupt. Be stone-cold silent. This allows him to assuage his fury and gives you the time to assemble a well crafted rebuttal, if need be. Allowing the opponent to lash out unhindered drains him emotionally, leaving him open to a well planned counterattack. Eliminate all embers. To further decreases his emotional turmoil and kill the fire, ask if there is anything else they might want to add. Acknowledge having heard it. State “I understand that you are concerned about…” This negates the danger of letting the criticism looming indefinitely in everyone’s mind. Cloud the Statements. Take the criticism and AGREE with it partially or in principle. This is a very effective method to derail any follow up attacks meant to reinforce angry words. By rolling with the punches instead of countering, you foster a friendlier environment. Agree with some truth in the criticism.
Here’s the technique:
Clouding the Criticism by Agreeing Partially entails taking his criticism and agreeing with some parts of it. This is effective when being criticized with words that involve sweeping adjectives like “always, never, and forever. Through partial agreement, the attacker’s fury diminishes and this leads to more open discussion. For example: Criticism: You’re always out of town. You never see your friends anymore. Reply: I agree. I have little time for my friends these days. (agreeing partially) Clouding the Criticism by Agreeing in Principle, entails fully agreeing with the principle of the criticism but not with the accusation leveraged against you. You admit that the principle is valid, but you nimbly sidestep blame. Agreeing in Principle lessens conflict because the critic gets confused with the quick acceptance of his point. He is thrown off balance and is unsure how to continue. Before he can think of a reply, you can work to defuse further conflict. Criticism: You’re always out of town. You never see your friends anymore. Reply: I agree. Distance takes away much time for friends. (you agree that out of town trips minimizes time with friends; however you don’t accept fault.) Finally, after clouding the criticism, ask what would make things better. Tell him “What would make this situation better for both of us?” Listen to the reply and give your own input. The last step snuffs all residual negativity and focuses the situation of problem solving. If outright lies pepper the criticism use a secret technique. The technique of Presuming Innocence parries the criticism while allowing the critic to save face. The Technique: Rapport cannot be built by pointing out errors in the logic of the criticism leveraged against you. Allow your prospects to save face by asking questions until you lose imagination or control. Presuming Innocence calls for incessant interrogation of the opponent on the reason, motive, factual basis, etc. for his accusation. Say, for instance, “How does that relate to the . . .” (then state the apparently conflicting information). Sometimes, you might find you were wrong, and you “save face.” Or, by continued non threatening questions, you can gently corner the other person into selfcorrecting.
Well, I hope you found these techniques useful. There’s even more to come! Stay put! 
Love,
-Diana Chance aka: Hot Mami
Watch My LIVE VIDEO CHAT for Music, Dance, Chat…FREE on social networking site Stickam!!!
